A Geeky Kind of Day

tony-harris-crybaby

  • 7 a.m.: Woke up. Showered
  • 7:30 a.m.: Shaved
  • 7:35 a.m.: Got dressed.
  • 7:40 a.m.: Prepared some toast for breakfast.
  • 7:45 a.m.: Checked Comic Book Resources for news while eating toast.
  • 7:47 a.m.: Called critic who didn’t like Super-Duper Wolverine #4 a cunt in the comments section of her review.
  • 8 a.m.: Commuted to work.
  • 8:15 a.m. (approx.): Checked updates on my phone at traffic stops.
  • 8:20 a.m. (approx.): Continued to demean above critic. Suggested she check her tampon and go back to reading Twilight. Proved my own fairness by stating critic is “very beautiful”–it’s more fairness than she gave UNDISPUTED MODERN MASTERPIECE SUPER-DUPER WOLVERINE #4!!!!
  • 8:30 a.m. (approx.): Punched in for work. Glanced awkwardly at Fiona [personal note: rawr]
  • 8:35 a.m.: Checked updates while I was supposed to be working.
  • 8:37 a.m.: Boss caught me checking updates. Shrugged, and went into the meeting. Did some actual work in the meantime.
  • 9:35 a.m.: Checked critic’s history for proof she hates comic books and is a fake geek girl.
  • 10:30 a.m.: Fiona asked if I finished that report. Told her I would by noon. [personal note: still rawr]
  • 12:00 p.m.: Report done, taking lunch.
  • 12:02 p.m.: 37 people liked my comments about Fake Geek Girl Critic’s review. I’m the man.
  • 12:30 p.m.: Haha, someone else wrote she also is doing it for attention. Too true.
  • 2:00-2:30 p.m.: Not much happens. Fiona thanked me for the report [personal note: I really need to show her my Klingon war axe, amirite?]
  • 2:35 p.m.: Checked Rotten Tomatoes to see if the 100% rating for The Avengers 4 is still there. The first 3 reviews gave it a fresh rating, which is promising!!
  • 2:37 p.m.: A GODDAMN NEGATIVE REVIEW! The 100% is RUINED!!!!
  • 2:38 p.m.: I wrote that this so-called “critic” is a faggot and should go back to watching gay porno.
  • 2:39 p.m.: Which reminded me to check on Fake Geek Girl Critic.
  • 2:40 p.m.: She had another review up, praising some comic about some brown girl. BARF!
  • 2:42 p.m.: This comic was also written by a woman! Feminazi agenda EXPOSED!
  • 2:44 p.m.: Exposed her feminazi agenda in the comments section! Plan on finding her e-mail and exposing something else.
  • 2:50 p.m.: Got another 37 likes for my exposé [haha, French-sounding!].
  • 3:38 p.m.: Got some feminazis and a white knight calling me a misogynist. I’M NOT THE MISOGYNIST THEY’RE THE MISOGYNISTS, not able to let this “critic” speak for herself!!!!
  • 4:04 p.m.: Fiona asked me a few questions about the report. Decided I needed to make my move.
  • 4:08 p.m.: Apparently, she didn’t like that I kept turning her questions about the report into sex jokes. How else was I supposed to take “Did you include lunch into the meeting’s expenses?” as anything OTHER than an invitation to fuck her?
  • 4:15 p.m.: Fiona’s talked to the boss, but he just waves her away. Think he said “Oh, that’s just him.”
  • 4:30 p.m.: For fuck’s sake, someone’s posted another Feminazi thinkpiece on Comics Alliance, saying women shouldn’t have to put up with quote-unquote “rape threats” and quote-unquote “demeaning language.” GAWD, why can’t people grow thicker skin!!1!
  • 4:36 p.m.: Another piece of “criticism” from Fake Geek Girl Critic saying BRAND-NEW 52 GREEN LANTERN #2 is “ugly and reactionary.” Simply called her a feminazi in the comments. ‘Nuff said, right?
  • 4:45 p.m.: Almost time to go. Boss mentioned Fiona, said she felt a bit uncomfortable [personal note: what a bitch]
  • 4:46 p.m.: Told boss I was just joking around, and he nodded. Said “see ya tomorrow.”
  • 5:00 p.m.: Ah, work over!
  • 5:02 p.m.: Waved bye to Fiona on the way out the office. She glanced away, the precious little princess. [personal note: still…yeah, I would]
  • 5:47 p.m.: Stopped by her apartment for a bit. Just looked. Saw nothing this time, so I went home.
  • 6:30 p.m.: Read the comics I picked up yesterday. SUPER-DUPER WOLVERINE #5 is EVEN BETTER than SUPER-DUPER WOLVERINE #4–last page will make jaws DROP!
  • 6:45 p.m.: Finished all ten of my new comics. $40 well spent.
  • 6:46 p.m.: Decided to watch THE AVENGERS 3 to prepare for the new movie! SOOO AWESOOOOME!!11!!!
  • 7:01 p.m.: Saw Scarlett Johansson and thought of Fiona. Texted her.
  • 7:02 p.m.: Which reminded me of work. Checked the feeds.
  • 7:03 p.m.: Boss’ announcement about our new summer crossover, ALL-NEW SECRET WARS NOW, was fucking SWEEEEEEEEEEEET!1 OMFG I actually didn’t know it was going to be Mockingbird beaten and maimed AGAIN that would set off the war! I love working for Marvel Comics!
  • 8:13 p.m.: Finally got a text back from Fiona. Asked how I got her number [personal note: from her file in HR] and told me to leave her alone.
  • 8:40 p.m.: Awww, man, that cameo appearance of Rick Astley as Starfox on a poster in the background of Nick Fury’s basement!!! Can’t wait to see how he factors into part 4 of the saga!
  • 9:20 p.m.: Movie finally over. Texted Fiona good night.
  • 9:21 p.m.: Texts me back she’s going to block my number. I’ll just use my other phone, then.
  • 12:00 a.m.: Did some aimless searching on the internet awhile. Checked updates on Fake Geek Girl Critic and Avengers 4 reviews [2 MORE ROTTENS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEPLE WHY R THEY EVEN PAID TO RITE REVEWS!!!1!]. Will fight these battles in the morning. Need to sleep.
  • [Personal Note: Why don’t girls like nice guys like me?]
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